words my phone has learned

I think my custom dictionary pretty much sums in up.
amarula
awww
bloomingdales
cameroon
costco
dca
dumbass
foursquare
fucked
fucking
heh
ikea
interwebs
ish
khartoum (really, blackberry?)
lqtm
maasai
meridien
mmk
mmmk
nats
ooh
oooh
ooooh
preggers
rasika
rotana
soonish
toumai
uber
ugandan
yay

Mecca

No wonder IKEA is such a happy place.

Those cookies were supposed to include everything BUT the kitchen sink.

Oops.  My office faucet has gone AWOL -- perhaps it was a terrorist faucet? -- but no matter, because in exchange we have received something far more marvelous: THE YOUTUBES.

I have no idea why it was finally unblocked, but it was, and now I can spend even more of my day on truly crucial matters, like tragic mistakes:

Beyonce videos:

And, of course, cat farts:

Thanks, corporate overlords!

Quotable

On the wedding scene in the Sex and the City:

I’ve hosted orgies that were less stereotypically gay than that. Guys getting fisted through their mini-skirts would balk at the overtly simplified gayness of a scene like that.

From The New Gay.

Truer words were never spoken.

"The typical gallant young Southerner at the slightest provocation can string a line of sugared words and compliments which will delight any female listener."

From a 1962 dating and marriage textbook, found here.

OMFG

These are the perfect revenge for a lifetime of snake-centric nightmares.

I love everything about this.

And now I want to learn how to soft-shoe.