in which I consider writing a post of Substance but talk about nail polish instead

My nail polish is Chanel no. 505, Particuliere.  I discovered it at one o'clock in the morning on the hands of the girl sitting next to me at the Hemingway Bar in Paris.  She was young and drunk and charming and in the process of ordering drinks for her beautifully morose male companion when MHM and I came in for post-dinner champagne and sat next to her.  MHM was busy talking to the bartender about helicopters when she tapped me on the shoulder to offer me a nut, and then stuck her fingers in my mouth.  It is a testament to the atmosphere that this did not seem at all odd (her glowering frenchman just continued to stare moodily into his cocktail) and MHM responded by staring at her nails and saying "good god, I LOVE that color!" She told us what it was and then we all sang Piano Man with the drunk English businessmen to MHM's other side, much to the disapproval of the African diplomats in the back room.

I've been carrying the bottle with me for two months now.  I finally put it on yesterday and immediately fucked it all up trying to mail a package.  But now it is fixed and beautiful, and I am sitting here typing until it dries.

miami

The closest I've been to Miami is the bar on F that puts algae in its drinks, but this poster makes me want to go. Which is exactly what a good travel poster should do -- I need someone to design one for Juba.

More here.

Thank you, CNNi

The one constant in my life when I'm traveling is CNN international. Are you in a horrible town where alcohol is illegal and everyone assumes you're a hooker if you try to sit at the juice bar? Fear not! Someone will still talk to you, and by 'someone', I mean the television. Sometimes I branch out (MTV en francais! Terrible B-movies dubbed into Arabic!), but I always end up back at CNNi.

The joy of CNNi is that it's aimed AT ME: your typical lonely American business traveler. As such, the advertising is always the same: middle eastern airlines, investment opportunities in former Yugoslav states, and Nigerian banks. I have my favorites amongst these ads (I DO want to experience WILD BEAUTY in Montenegro! And I would totally fly Emirates if only they were Sky Team!), but the ad above makes my day EVERY TIME I see it. I WANT THAT TATTOO. Also the coat. And the car. And the massage. And I'd like it if that song played where ever I went.

Someday I will be rich and Scandinavian and I will LIVE IN THAT AD. Or, you know, just buy the magazine.

I think they made this for me

As someone who literally flew from 47 degrees Celsius ("Oh Fuck it's the hot season in Juba") to 22 degrees Fahrenheit ("Oh Fuck I'm stuck in Detroit due to Snow") last month... I like to have a VERY SMALL cardigan on me at all times.

Just in case.